Goldilocks & the Three Bears - The Customs House, South Shields

Golidlocks & the Three Bears by Ray Spencer & Graeme Thompson
Director: Ray Spencer

Reviewer: Ian Cain

You don’t need to go down to the woods to be sure of a big surprise, just take a trip to The Customs House to see Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Affectionately termed ‘the little panto with the big heart,’ the venue has once again come up with a top quality festive family show. Packed with madcap mayhem, audience participation, sing-along songs, colourful characters and plenty of ad-libbing, this is pure, unadulterated, honest-to-goodness pantomime at its very best.

The plot revolves around the demise of Dame Dotty’s circus and the evil Baron Boris Bratwurst’s plan to trick her into selling-up, so that he can send the animals off to his fur factory. However, Goldilocks overhears the Baron discussing his plan with his henchman, Igor, and it is up to her – aided by Colin the Ringmaster and The Fairy Godmother - to thwart his evil scheme.

Co-writer and director Ray Spencer stars as Tommy, Dame Dotty’s simple son. This pairs Spencer with his comedy partner Bob Stott and the double-act provide much of the hilarity. These two go together like a horse and carriage and their stagecraft is a joy to behold as they veer away from the script and back again leaving young and old rocking with laughter.

Lucy Rafton plays a feisty Goldilocks, dispelling any misconceptions that panto heroines should always be simpering and sickly sweet. She looks great and delivers her musical numbers with aplomb. Indeed, this Goldilocks has girl-power! David Ducasse (Scooch) is Colin the Ringmaster, and he too presents a nice twist to the typical panto hero. His portrayal of Colin is as a bit of a ‘himbo’ – that’s a male bimbo, if you didn’t know – who has difficulty in voicing his true feelings for Goldilocks. However, with a wave of the Fairy Godmother’s wand and a bit of coaxing from the would-be object of his affections, he gets there in the end.

Suzanne Richardson ( Fiddler On The Roof; Beauty & The Beast) gives us a wonderful, magical archetypal Fairy Godmother. She works the audience well and has the kids chanting spells in unison with her for all they are worth. Although she may be a Fairy Godmother, Suzanne possesses the voice of an angel and provides some of the show’s best singing. Peter Darrant once again fills the villain’s shoes, a role that he has made his own, and relishes every moment of it. Clad in a flowing leather coat and the tightest, shiniest trousers I’ve ever seen, he basks in the badness of the bolshy Baron Boris Bratwurst (try getting your tongue round that bit of alliteration after one too many at the bar!) and ‘looks like a reject from Land of Leather.’

Graham Overton, as Igor, is the Baron’s hapless henchman and provides a perfect foil to Darrant’s Bratwurst. He brings to his performance an array of rubber-faced expressions and a funny voice that had the little boy in the seat in front of me in stitches throughout. Of course, tradition dictates that children and animals always steal the show and this panto is no exception. The babes were provided by South Tyneside Dance Workshop and each and every one of them is as cute as a button – and talented to boot! They worked their little pointe shoes off and were a big hit with the audience. That brings me to – yes, you’ve guessed it – the three bears. Named Bert, Gert and Squirt by the winner of a Customs House competition, they definitely have all the ‘bear’ necessities and brought ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ aplenty from the audience.

Add a brilliant puppet show from the amazing Kallini Puppets, at the beginning of the second act, and a rousing sing-along after the panto walk-down at curtain call and you have a traditional family panto that represents real value for money and sends you out of the theatre grinning from ear to ear. Whatever you do, don’t miss it!